Secret Wedding Bells
by higherbeingfriendsfan
Summary: Carter and Abby marry in secret, and find themselves frontpage news, Susan is upset at first, but what happens when her bestfriend's life is in danger?Rating just in case :
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR: higherbeingfriendsfan - Debz  
  
EMAIL: debz11888@hotmail.com  
  
CATEGORY: JC/AL  
  
RATING: PG-13 just in case  
  
SPOILERS: None  
  
DISCLAIMER: Carter and Abby don't belong to me. They belong to NBC, and Warner Brothers, and all of the other people who own the rights to ER.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is set in at the time of series 10, but none of series 9 happened! Also Benton and Greene are in, because I really like them! Also this is my first fan fiction so take that into account when you read this! Also I have no knowledge of medical procedures etc. so anything to do with that will more than likely be wrong. Ok all you need to know when reading this is that Abby and Carter have been together for a year, but kept it a secret from everyone. Please review and let me know what you think (  
  
6 o'clock  
  
John Carter walked into the ER and looked around for his bride-to-be. He couldn't believe what he and Abby were going to do at the end of their shifts. For 3 months they had been engaged and today was when they were going to get married in secret. They hadn't told anybody in the ER that they were together and soon they were going to be married, he was so excited. They had decided to get married in a registry office, and their witnesses would be Gamma and Eric, he brother. These were the only two people who knew that Abby and Carter were together, so it seemed appropriate that they would be the witnesses.  
  
He spotted Abby talking to Susan and he smiled, he liked the fact that two of his best friends were best friends with each other, especially after their first impressions of each other. Abby looked up and caught John's eyes. She gave a small smile and he gave one back. They were used to acting at work like there was nothing going on.  
  
12 o'clock  
  
Abby looked at her watch and smiled her shift was finally over and in one hour she would be marrying John Carter. 'Life can't get better than this', she thought to herself. Carter walked over to her and smiled.  
  
"You ready to go?" he asked. "Yeah, common" she replied. They walked past ADMIT, where Randi, Chuny and Susan were chatting. "You off already?" Susan asked John "Coz I was wondering if you would take this woman in Exam 4 complaining of chest pains" "No a chance, I took a half day for a reason, Susan, but have fun!" and with that the two exited the ER  
  
1:30 pm  
  
Carter and Abby exited the registry office, with Gamma and Eric following. They were laughing about what they had just done, but unbeknownst to the four a photographer from the Chicago Sun Times had seen them come out of it.  
  
The next day - 6 o'clock  
  
Susan came rushing into the ER. Jing-Mei Chen, Haleh, Chuny, Pratt, Benton and Greene were all around the ADMIT, as it was a very slow day, and the last patient was over an hour ago. "Whoa, what's the rush Susan?" Mark Greene asked "Listen to this." Susan got her newspaper and started reading from it  
  
"Bad news girls, Chicago's most eligible bachelor has been snatched up. Yesterday one of our photographers witnessed what well be a shock to most today. He saw Dr. John Truman Carter III, heir to Chicago's wealthiest family, coming out of a registry office, and it was definite that Dr. Carter, of Cook County General Emergency Room, is married. The lucky woman is Abigail Lockhart, also of County General. The pair have been spotted together on several occasions, including a charity event, three years ago, hosted by Dr. Carter's family. Dr. Carter is heir to $200million."  
  
Susan finished reading to show the rest of the staff the picture of the Carter and Abby as they came out of registry office. All of the ER staff were shocked, and no-one could speak.  
  
"This is some kind of joke isn't it?" Chuny asked "I wouldn't be to sure" Greene said, "That picture looks pretty serious"  
  
Meanwhile  
  
"You ready?" Carter asked "I'm not sure, I mean look we're on the front page!" Abby exclaimed Carter just laughed, "Common, lets get this over with"  
  
Abby and Carter entered the ER and everyone just looked up, they walked to the desk.  
  
"What the hell is this about?" Susan asked her two best friends, "This is a joke right? Right?" she asked twice looking at the two. They looked at each other, then shook their heads. "What you mean you two are married?" This time they nodded. At this the staff got animated again hugging the newly- weds, all except Jing-Mei and Susan. They were hurt that their best friends hadn't bothered to tell them. Carter looked at Jing-Mei  
  
"You OK Deb?" John asked, pulling her away from where Abby was showing off her engagement ring and wedding ring. "Yeah, just that most people don't find out their best friend is married by reading a newspaper" "Sorry, its just", but finished when he saw her smiling "Congratulations John", She smiled and hugged her bestfriend. "Thanks Deb, you're the best" She kissed his cheek then went to where everyone else was looking at the ring. Susan didn't look as happy and ran into the lounge. Carter and Abby exchanged glances. Both followed her and both hoping they hadn't just lost their bestfriend. 


	2. Chapter 2

AUTHOR: higherbeingfriendsfan - Debz  
  
EMAIL: debz11888@hotmail.com  
  
CATEGORY: JC/AL  
  
RATING: PG-13 just in case  
  
SPOILERS: None  
  
DISCLAIMER: Carter and Abby don't belong to me. They belong to NBC, and Warner Brothers, and all of the other people who own the rights to ER.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is set in at the time of series 10, but none of series 9 happened! Also Benton and Greene are in, because I really like them! Also this is my first fan fiction so take that into account when you read this! Also I have no knowledge of medical procedures etc. so anything to do with that will more than likely be wrong.  
  
Ok all you need to know when reading this is that Abby and Carter have been together for a year, but kept it a secret from everyone. Please review and let me know what you think :)  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially Sara, thanks hun it was really sweet!  
  
John and Abby ran into the lounge. Susan was sitting on the couch in tears. Her face was covering her eyes, but Carter and Abby both knew she was crying, as her whole body was shaking. They were surprised because Susan didn't usually cry in front of others, and if someone saw her she would probably pretend she wasn't crying. Abby walked up to her, sat down beside Susan and put an arm around her best friend. Susan flinched at her touch.  
  
"Susan, please", Abby begged, she hated seeing her best friend but it was worse when she knew that it was her actions that were making Susan this upset.  
  
"Why?" Susan asked and looked up at two of her best friends. First she looked straight at Abby then she turned to Carter. He looked confused.  
  
"Why, what?" He asked.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" They newly-weds looked at each other and realized they didn't have a good reason.  
  
"We wanted it to be a secret at the beginning, because we don't like when they entire hospital knows our business. Then after a couple of months we were ready to tell everyone but we just never got around to it, and then the longer it got the harder it got to tell everyone, especially you and Deb. When we got engaged, three months ago we decided that we couldn't tell everyone and we would let them find out." Carter paused, "but obviously no- one did."  
  
"Why didn't you at least tell me?" Susan asked, tearfully. Abby and Carter hadn't realized how much this would upset Susan.  
  
"We wanted to, so much, but we just never got the chance really. I'm so sorry Susan," Abby said to her.  
  
"Yeah I'm sorry to Susan, we never meant to upset you," Carter spoke softly.  
  
"I'm not upset as you would think that you never told me but I'm upset that you lied to me, not so much you Carter, but Abby you told me thousands of times that Carter and you were 'just good friends', why didn't you tell me and Jing-Mei when we asked you about it?"  
  
"I don't know, its just that I panicked and also I wanted John there when we told you all" Abby explained.  
  
Carter looked at Susan she looked worn out but he could tell from her eyes that there was something she wasn't telling everyone. He knew that this went deeper than just the fact that he and Abby hadn't told her they were together.  
  
"Hey Abby, can I talk to Susan for a moment" Carter turned to his wife, she had a questioning look on her face "Please"  
  
"Yeah OK" Abby looked at Carter, and knew that there was a reason he wanted to speak with Susan alone. She looked at Susan again and said one last time "Sorry, Susan, for everything" and with that she went back to ADMIT.  
  
Susan now looked confused, she didn't understand why Carter wanted to speak with her privately, she thought that out of the two of them it would be Abby who would want to speak and explain herself more.  
  
"Susan what's the real reason that you're upset?" he asked  
  
"I just told you, the fact that you both lied to me, I don't mind that you didn't tell me, but I find it hard to believe that you both lied to me, and I hate that." Susan explained. She had now started to get a little calmer, and she didn't feel that she was going to cry again.  
  
"Susan, I have known you for a long time, right?" Carter asked, she nodded, "Well I know you, and I can tell when your lying, and I can tell when there's something that you don't want anyone to find out. I think that the real reason you're so upset isn't because Abby and I didn't tell you, I think its something more than that. So if it is please tell me, and remember I can tell when you're lying."  
  
Defeated Susan sighed. She didn't know if she could tell Carter why she was so upset. She knew she would have to, and he was one of her best friends, 'who better than to tell than John Carter?' she asked herself. She motioned for Carter to sit beside her.  
  
"Alright, I'll tell you, but you're never to tell Abby. Promise me that"  
  
"Of course I promise" Carter replied. She knew that if Abby wasn't allowed to know than it had to be something bad.  
  
"OK I'll tell you, well I feel like nobody needs me, and that all my best friends don't like me enough to tell me anything that is life changing." She paused and looked at Carter, but instead of understanding, like she thought he would, he looked confused.  
  
"I don't know how to explain very well, so I'll start from the beginning. Ok, Carter, you know when you first came to County, when you were a med student. Well you know Mark and I were best friends?" Carter nodded, so she continued, "Well I moved to Phoenix to look after Chloe and Susie, as you know, and when I was there Mark and I wrote on occasion. I told him when I was engaged, but he never told me about Elizabeth, Ella or the fact that he had a brain tumour. Then when I came back I had to find out, for myself. Once I moved back to Chicago, and started working at County again and we got closer than we were before I moved, I felt happy because I thought that I would finally have a friend who would tell me anything. Then when I became friends with Abby, and you, me, Abby and Jing-Mei hung out, sometimes I felt like people really wanted to be my friend, and people thought of me enough to tell me important things, and until a few hours ago I believed this. I thought that the three of you told me everything that wasn't personal and, I dunno, I believed that you all respected me as more than just another colleague. Then when I found out you and Abby were married I realised that to everyone I was just a colleague." Susan looked down, and the promise she made to herself was broken, and she broke down in tears.  
  
Carter was shocked. He thought to himself, 'Does Susan really think this, how could she?' instead of saying anything just yet he wrapped his arm around his friend, and held her. He waited until she had calmed down then made him face her.  
  
"Susan, I sort of understand what you mean, but your wrong I would never just think of you as someone who I work with. Your more than that, and you always will be to me. When you came back to County, I was happy to, especially since I felt like you would never judge me and think anything less of me, especially when I told you about my addiction. After we broke up I was relieved. Not because I had broken up with you, but because I knew that, as we were still friends, we always would be. I know I hurt you by not telling you about Abby and I, and I'm sorry, but you must never think that I see you as a colleague; you're one of my best friends and I hope that you still want to be my friend." He looked at Susan, she was still crying, but she was smiling.  
  
"Of course I do", and with that she jumped into his arms again, and gave him a big hug. "Thank you for listening to me, I needed to get everything off my chest." She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "Oh and congratulations, but I must say, its about time!" she laughed and hugged her best friend again.  
  
"Hey, Susan, you want to get a coffee?" Carter asked, standing up and holding his hands out for Susan to accept his offer. She took his hands and pulled herself up. She, then, linked her arm through his.  
  
"I bet Abby wont be happy, she will have to give all the gossipers the details by herself!" Susan laughed. Carter shrugged.  
  
"Maybe, but I want to have coffee with my best friend," Carter countered. Then he opened the lounge door. Susan started laughing and the two managed to get to just outside the ambulance doors, when Chuny spotted them.  
  
"You're not leaving your wife to give us all the details by herself are you?" she asked. Susan laughed again, pulled her arm out of his and then pointed at Carter.  
  
"I told you!"  
  
"Look I'm going to get coffee, your explanation will have to wait another half an hour", and with that the two left the doors. The rest of the ER staff turned back to Abby.  
  
"You should have stopped him", Jing-Mei said.  
  
"Like it would have helped, he never listens to me," Abby told her friends then left for the lounge, this time to put her stuff away.  
  
Meanwhile  
  
"That was cruel, Carter," Susan said, then realised he wasn't next to her, "Carter?" She looked back and saw him tying his shoelace. He stood up. Just as he was about to say something he noticed a car driving too fast, towards Susan! Without thinking about what might happen to himself he ran and pushed his friend down. Susan cried out, when she hit the pavement. "What the hell?" she shouted, and looked up, just in time to see the car driving straight into Carter. 


	3. Chapter 3

AUTHOR: higherbeingfriendsfan - Debz  
  
EMAIL: debz11888@hotmail.com  
  
CATEGORY: JC/AL  
  
RATING: PG-13 just in case  
  
SPOILERS: None  
  
DISCLAIMER: Carter and Abby don't belong to me. They belong to NBC, and Warner Brothers, and all of the other people who own the rights to ER.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is set in at the time of series 10, but none of series 9 happened! Also Benton and Greene are in, because I really like them! Also this is my first fan fiction so take that into account when you read this! Also I have no knowledge of medical procedures etc. so anything to do with that will more than likely be wrong.  
  
Ok all you need to know when reading this is that Abby and Carter have been together for a year, but kept it a secret from everyone. Please review and let me know what you think :)  
  
Thank you to everyone who reviewed this fic so far they were all so sweet :)  
  
"CARTER!" Susan screamed. She got up and ran to her best friend's side. She checked his pulse and then started calling to him. "Carter, Carter, can you hear me? John, John, please," by now Susan was crying, but she knew she needed to get John a backboard and gurney, but she felt she couldn't move.  
  
Meanwhile  
  
Inside the ER everyone was asking Abby questions about her relationship with Carter, she kept saying to them she would tell them once John got back. Suddenly they heard Susan scream "CARTER!" Abby looked up and then ran outside a long with a couple of others. Abby was frightened for her husband and could tell by Susan's tone that she needed to be frightened. Running out the doors, Abby stopped dead in her tracks. On the road was John and Susan was over him crying. The doctors and nurses who had run out with Abby went straight into 'doctor' mode.  
  
"Malik get a backboard, gurney and neck brace, Chuny set up trauma one", Mark Greene told the nurses.  
  
Once Malik had returned with the equipment he was asked for, Mark, Peter and Gallant put Carter onto the backboard and gurney. Mark fixed the neck brace, then they started rolling him to the ER. They paused for a second when they saw Abby, she was standing in the same position she had stopped in.  
  
"John," she whispered, and then started crying.  
  
"We'll help him Abby," Peter told her, "and then he'll be alright."  
  
"He has to be," Abby told them, still in a whisper.  
  
Everyone ran inside, ready to start working on Carter, all but Abby, who still hadn't moved, Susan, who was still sitting where Carter had been and Jing-Mei, who although she was upset, knew that she had to be strong for her friends. She walked up to Abby first.  
  
"Abby", she called. Her friend turned around. "Come here, sweetie", Jing- Mei told Abby, and opened her arms. Abby immediately agreed and walked into her inviting arms. Jing-Mei just held a crying Abby, until she stopped shaking.  
  
Jing-Mei looked at her other friend who had been sitting the same spot, for at least 5 minutes, probably more.  
  
"Susan?" Jing-Mei called over. At her best friends name, Abby looked up and saw her, still sitting on the ground next to where John had been. Slowly she walked up to Susan, with Jing-Mei next to her. Abby touched Susan on the shoulder and her friend looked up.  
  
"He.he.he got knocked over trying to help me," Susan said, the looked away, "I'm so sorry Abby, this would never have happened if I'd been happy about you getting married in the first place."  
  
"Susan, Abby, why don't we all go inside, we'll go into the lounge, okay?" Jing-Mei said. The two nodded so Jing-Mei put her arms around them and guided them through the ambulance doors, and into the lounge.  
  
Meanwhile  
  
Mark, Peter and Kerry ran into trauma one, with Malik, Chuny and Yosh.  
  
"On my count, one, two and three," Mark told the ER team, they moved Carter from the gurney to the one in the room. The doctors and nurses immediately got to work. Peter examined his stomach, with an ultrasound, looking for any internal damage. Kerry checked his head and ordered a CT, to check for any head trauma, while Mark put in a chest tube, and then put Carter on a vent.  
  
"Sinus attack," Malik shouted.  
  
"Get the crash cart," Kerry ordered.  
  
"OK, charging the paddles to 300," Peter called out, "Clear"  
  
"V-fib", Chuny called.  
  
"Charging again to 360", Peter said, "Clear. " "Normal sinus rhythm." Chuny said to the room. Everyone let out the breath they had been holding  
  
"Oh, thank God," Mark said quietly.  
  
"Right, we have to get him upstairs," Peter told everyone. Malik, Yosh and himself took John up to the OR.  
  
The people who had been working on Carter all came out of the room, took their gloves and gowns off and walked over to the ADMIT. As it was slow everyone was standing there.  
  
"How is he?" Elizabeth asked.  
  
"He's stable. Peter took him upstairs," Mark answered, then shook his head.  
  
"What is it?" Kerry asked him.  
  
"This shouldn't be happening to him, he's been through enough already," Mark answered. Everyone nodded, they all knew about Carter's stabbing, even if they hadn't worked at the hospital when it happened.  
  
Just then the lounge door opened and Abby, Susan and Jing-Mei came out. From their faces everyone could see they had been crying.  
  
"How is he?" Susan asked. Mark told them what he had told Elizabeth and the rest of the staff. Susan and Jing-Mei asked a couple of questions about other injuries John had had. During this Abby stayed silent, she knew if she said anything she would break down in tears again.  
  
"Abby, why don't you go upstairs and wait for him to come out of surgery," Kerry told her. Abby just shook her head.  
  
"I can't, I just want to stay here, until he comes out, otherwise I'll drive myself crazy thinking about John."  
  
"Why don't we come up with you then Abby?" Jing-Mei asked her friend.  
  
"Yeah, I could do with some company too," Susan said. Abby nodded, and walked towards the stairs. The two followed her, hoping that when they got upstairs she would tell them what she was feeling. During the time they were in the lounge, Abby hadn't said anything, and although they knew she hid her feelings, they wanted her to tell them so that she would feel better, because from the look in her eyes they knew she was devastated inside.  
  
When the three got upstairs they saw Dr. Romano walking towards them. From his look Jing-Mei could tell that Romano knew that the two were married.  
  
"Abby, how are you?" he asked.  
  
"I'm fine," she answered. Susan inwardly shook her head, she was used to Abby's trademark response to that question.  
  
"Well I just want to let you know how sorry I am for Dr. Carter."  
  
"Thank you," Abby answered.  
  
"Peter is in surgery with him still, do you know what they are doing in there?"  
  
"Yes, Dr. Greene and Dr. Weaver told me."  
  
"Good, well if you want to go into office it will give you some privacy," Romano told the trio. Abby smiled, knowing that this was emotion you hardly ever saw from the Chief of Staff.  
  
"Thank you," Abby once again answered.  
  
"Now, if you ladies will excuse me, I have to perform an appendectomy." He smiled at Abby then walked away.  
  
Susan put her arm around Abby's back and led her to Romano's office, so that they could wait on the results of John's surgery. Hopefully it went well, for John's sake and for Abby's sake. 


	4. Chapter 4

AUTHOR: higherbeingfriendsfan - Debz  
  
EMAIL: debz11888@hotmail.com  
  
CATEGORY: JC/AL  
  
RATING: PG-13 just in case  
  
SPOILERS: This chapter will have things from episodes, mainly things from episodes in series 7 and series 8.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Carter and Abby don't belong to me. They belong to NBC, and Warner Brothers, and all of the other people who own the rights to ER.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is set in at the time of series 10, but none of series 9 happened! Also Benton and Greene are in, because I really like them! Also this is my first fan fiction so take that into account when you read this! Also I have no knowledge of medical procedures etc. so anything to do with that will more than likely be wrong.  
  
Ok all you need to know when reading this is that Abby and Carter have been together for a year, but kept it a secret from everyone. Please review and let me know what you think :)  
  
Thank you to everyone who reviewed this fic so far they were all so sweet :)  
  
Abby, Susan and Jing-Mei went into Romano's office. Susan guided Abby to a chair at the side of the room, which Abby collapsed into. As soon as she sat down she started to cry. Susan went and knelt down next to Abby and put her arm around Abby's shoulder. Jing-Mei did the same on the other side of Abby. Soon all three were crying together thinking about Carter, and their friendship with him.  
  
Abby kept thinking about when John came to Oklahoma with her, she was remembering this because that was the first time when she realised she loved him. She also thought about when Carter told her about his feelings. She thought to herself that she should have said that she liked him to. If she had they would have had more time together if John dies. 'No!' she told herself, 'you can't think like that, he'll be fine'.  
  
Susan was thinking about after she came back to Chicago. Although she was friends with Carter before she left, it wasn't until she returned that she became close to him. She remembered when he told her of his addiction. She was remembering this because she knew how hard it was to tell her, in case she judged him and was disappointed in him, she was proud of him, proud that he overcame this to become a darn good doctor.  
  
Jing-Mei was remembering two moments in particular, the first when he was there when she gave birth. This moment was important to her, because he didn't complain one bit, even though she had woken him up. When she was pregnant she remembered that she didn't want anyone to help her with her pregnancy, as she was ashamed at what they would say to her, as she wasn't even with the father of Michael. When she was giving birth she didn't want to speak with anybody, except the midwives, nurses and the adoptive parents. During the first couple of contractions she knew she needed help, and the only person who came into her head, that would help was John. The other thing she was remembering was when she quit County. This was because he had made an effort to talk to her when he was off work. They had occasionally had lunch, dinner or breakfast together, and some days they would go out for the whole day. She was thinking about this because he was the only person who she really spoke to, until she returned to County. 'I'll have to thank him for these moments, when he wakes up, and maybe we can go out together occasionally, we haven't done that in a while', she thought to herself. There was a knock on the door, which interrupted the girls' thoughts. Peter walked in looking worn out.  
  
"How's he doing?" Abby asked.  
  
"Well he's in post-op and he's stable. A broken rib damaged his lung, so we had in re-inflate that, we had to remove his spleen also. There was some internal bleeding, which we managed to stop," Peter told them.  
  
"Thank you," Abby said, "I know John will be glad you did his surgery." She paused, "again." Peter smiled.  
  
"You can go and see him in a couple of minutes, when the nurses have finished," Peter told the girls.  
  
"Thank you Dr. Benton," Abby told the surgeon again. She walked up to him and gave him a hug.  
  
"I don't need any thanks I just did my job, but what I do need is for Carter to wake up," he told Abby quietly. She pulled back and smiled. Just then a nurse knocked on the door and came in.  
  
"Dr. Benton we've finished with Dr. Carter," the young nurse told the older surgeon.  
  
"OK, Abby go and see him now," Peter told her, then left the office, as his pager beeped. "Excuse me I'm needed in ICU."  
  
Abby turned around and faced her two friends. She walked over to both and hugged them both.  
  
"Will you wait here for a bit, I want to see him by myself first?" Abby asked  
  
"Of course, sweetie, we'll come to his room in ten minutes, OK?" Jing-Mei replied.  
  
"Yeah, thanks," Abby said, then walked out of the room, and to John's room.  
  
She gasped when she saw John, he had tubes all over him, and the heart monitor was beeping loudly. Abby walked over to his bed, leant down and kissed his forehead. Then she moved some of his hair out of his face. Sitting down on the chair next to his bed, she took his hand. She kissed his wedding ring, and then leant her head on his chest, so she could feel his heartbeat. The tears, which were falling down her cheeks, landed on John. She sat up, and wiped them away.  
  
"John, baby, please wake up now, I need to know you're OK, come on, please," she wiped more tears which were falling down her cheeks. She longed for John to wipe them away, while he looked into her eyes with his gorgeous chocolate, brown eyes. She smiled at this thought, but only for a second, when she remembered that until he woke up, whenever that was, he wouldn't be able to wipe away her tears. She once again leant over onto his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart.  
  
Meanwhile  
  
Jing-Mei and Susan left Romano's office as soon as Abby did. They had decided to go back down to the ER and let them know what was happening.  
  
They got to the stairs when Susan asked Jing-Mei,  
  
"Do you think she blames me?"  
  
"No, I think she blames herself, and on some levels I think she blames John," Jing-Mei told her truthfully.  
  
"What?" Susan asked, confused.  
  
"I think she blames herself for not telling us all that they were together, because if she did tell us, you wouldn't have gone for coffee and I think she blames John for caring about other people too much, as he made sure you were OK, rather than looking after himself," she explained to Susan.  
  
"Do you blame me?" Susan asked afraid for her answer in case she did.  
  
"No, not at all, I blame the driver, because he was speeding, and than drove off, and seeing as he could drive off, I suspect he left with out a scrape, and that isn't fair, I mean John could die because of somebody else's actions," Jing-Mei stopped, frightened that if she spoke anymore she would cry again.  
  
The two doctors got to ADMIT. The rest of the staff were sitting around, looking as miserable as Jing-Mei felt. They walked up to desk and everybody saw them and looked up.  
  
"He's out of surgery," Susan started.  
  
"He is stable at the moment," Jing-Mei finished. The ER staff let out the breath they had been holding.  
  
"Can we go back up?" Susan asked Jing-Mei, she was desperate to see Carter, because although she had been told he was stable, she needed to make sure for herself. Jing-Mei nodded. They walked back up the stairs to surgery, and up to Carter's room, just as they were about to go in, they noticed Abby asleep on his chest, without speaking they went to the chairs, so they could give Abby some more time with him.  
  
Ten minutes later the chairs were crowded with ER staff. They had all come upstairs to see their colleague and friend. Kerry was worried at first that the ER would be deserted, but the temp receptionist that had come in, in replace for Frank, who was sick, had said she would stay downstairs, and would page Kerry if anybody came in.  
  
Just as Susan and Jing-Mei were about to go and see Carter, Abby walked out.  
  
"I can't stay in there anymore, I know that I should wait until he wakes up, but I cant," Abby told Susan. Susan nodded and led her to where everyone in the ER was waiting. She sat down, with Susan and Jing-Mei either side if her.  
  
"What were you all talking about?" Abby asked.  
  
"Carter," they all answered, Abby smiled.  
  
"I was telling them about the time when Susan and I put a cast on Carter, then pretended there was a trauma, he fell right out the door, because of it", Mark said.  
  
"I still cant believe you did that," Abby said, she had heard this story before.  
  
"He didn't take it the wrong way though, which was good," Susan said. There was a pause as everybody remembered moments in their lives, which Carter was a part of, for most people there was a lot of good moments, which out- weighed the bad moments.  
  
"It started at about the time Susan went to New York," Abby said, this sentence confused her friends. She laughed a little. "When Carter and I got together. We'd had an argument, during which I hurt him, pretty bad. I knew I would hurt him when I said it, but I told him anyway, not because I wanted to upset him, because that's the last thing I would ever want, but because I couldn't have him near me. I couldn't have him near me because I knew if he was I would tell him what I was feeling."  
  
"Abby, sweetie, you're confusing us." Susan said.  
  
Again Abby laughed, "Sorry."  
  
"What do you mean you couldn't tell him what you were feeling?" Susan asked.  
  
"Because if I did one of us would get hurt." Abby told them, "OK, we've got off track, anyway as I was saying, he left the apartment. The next day we were both working the same shift. It was busy all day, so I never really saw John to apologise. My last patient of the day needed to be seen by Psyche, but they were packed up too, so I had to wait with him for a while. The patient was getting restless and wound-up and after a while he attacked me. I ran out and as it was the end of my shift anyway I went straight up to the roof. John was already there, he turned around when he heard me walk onto the roof, by this time I was in tears, and without question he walked over to me and hugged me." Abby paused.  
  
"That sounds like Carter," Susan said. Everyone around nodded.  
  
"Yeah. Once I stopped crying I knew I had to tell him the truth about what I was feeling, so I did. I told him that I wanted to be with him, and I kissed him. He pulled back and said that he couldn't do anything when I was upset. Instead we went out for dinner that night, went to his apartment and talked all night about nothing. The last thing we talked about was our relationship, again I told him how I felt about him, and I kissed him again." She blushed slightly, "and that's pretty much how it started." Abby finished.  
  
"You kissed him first?" Susan asked, Abby nodded. "Damn," Susan muttered. She pulled two $10 bills out of her pocket and handed them to Jing-Mei, who was grinning.  
  
Abby laughed at her best friends, it felt good to laugh and it relaxed her. Just then a loud beeping noise was heard from John's room, several nurses ran into the room, followed by Elizabeth. The ER staff went quiet as they heard John's heart monitor flat line.  
  
OK what do you think? Debzxxx 


	5. Chapter 5

AUTHOR: higherbeingfriendsfan - Debz  
  
EMAIL: debz11888@hotmail.com  
  
CATEGORY: JC/AL  
  
RATING: PG-13 just in case  
  
SPOILERS: This chapter doesn't have any I don't think  
  
DISCLAIMER: Carter and Abby don't belong to me. They belong to NBC, and Warner Brothers, and all of the other people who own the rights to ER.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is set in at the time of series 10, but none of series 9 happened! Also Benton and Greene are in, because I really like them! Also this is my first fan fiction so take that into account when you read this! Also I have no knowledge of medical procedures etc. so anything to do with that will more than likely be wrong.  
  
Ok all you need to know when reading this is that Abby and Carter have been together for a year, but kept it a secret from everyone. Please review and let me know what you think :)  
  
Thank you to everyone who reviewed this fic so far they were all so sweet :)  
  
"John!" Abby screamed, tears falling down her face. Susan held her as Abby cried, whilst she constantly said his name over and over. Rubbing her hand on Abby's back, Susan started to pray in her head. Most of the doctors and nurses who were in the room had tears either falling down their faces or threatening to fall down their faces. Ten minutes later Elizabeth stepped out of John's room. Everyone looked at her, but Elizabeth only looked at Abby, she smiled and nodded her head, and everyone heard the heart monitor go back to normal. They all let out a sigh of relief.  
  
"Is he really alright?" Abby whispered to the older doctor who nodded.  
  
"His heart rate is a little high, but that should go back to normal." Abby grinned  
  
"Thank you," she said.  
  
"I was just doing my job, Abby, but you're welcome, I couldn't let him die." Elizabeth gave Abby a quick hug, then left as her pager beeped.  
  
Abby turned to Susan, "He's OK", she whispered.  
  
"Good, because he owes me $50." Susan joked, this caused everyone to laugh, and relax. "Go in" Susan told her best friend. Abby nodded, and walked in to John's room. There were a few nurses in the room, as Abby sat down. After a few minutes they left, so Abby was alone with John.  
  
"Hey, baby. I hope you can hear me. I thought you weren't going to make it, I thought that when your monitor flat-lined, that would be it. I was scared. John you can't leave me," Abby paused and swallowed trying to lose the lump in her throat. This was unsuccessful, and a few seconds later there were tears streaming her face again. "I love you so much, I can't live without you, I don't know how I managed without you, before, and now that you're in my life I cant imagine life without you, and I know I won't manage without you. Wake up please, I just need to know you're OK, please." Abby stopped, she put her head on his bed and started crying.  
  
A couple of hours later Abby woke up, and looked at John, he still hadn't woken up. Lightly Abby kissed his cheek. Sitting up she realised how hungry she was, as she hadn't eaten since that morning. Standing up, she stretched then left his room.  
  
"Are you OK?" Susan asked. Abby nodded, then smiled slightly, from the looks of it, nobody had left the seat they had been sitting in over two hours ago.  
  
"You know you should really all go home, you do have shifts tomorrow," Abby told them. Her colleagues looked embarrassed slightly. Just as Susan was about to say something they heard somebody walk down the hall towards them. Turning Abby saw Luka. She paled a bit as she realised Luka didn't know about them. 'Unless he read today's paper', she told herself. Luka walked up to Abby,  
  
"I'm so sorry, Abby, how is he?"  
  
"He's still unconscious, but he's better than he was." She smiled a little, "So you know," she told him. He nodded. Blushing slightly, Abby looked down at the floor.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I...we...didn't want anyone to know," Abby told her former boyfriend. Luka laughed slightly.  
  
"Don't worry, Abby, and congratulations," he told her, and gave her a hug. Relaxing against him slightly, thankful, that he didn't make a big deal out of it.  
  
"Oh and Abby," She looked up at Luka  
  
"Yeah?" she asked him  
  
"You looked beautiful, in your dress I mean," Luka told her. Again Abby blushed.  
  
"Thanks Luka." She smiled then a thought crossed her mind, "although, as no- one else has said anything about it, you seem to be the only one who things so." She teased her friends. Now it was the rest of the staff that seemed embarrassed. Laughing she shook her head.  
  
"You guys I'm kidding, I know I looked beautiful," she said laughing.  
  
"Oh aren't we Miss Modest today?" Susan asked her friend. Abby just grinned.  
  
"Abby, can I ask you a question?" Jing-Mei asked. Abby nodded, "why did you come out of John's room before?" This had been at the back of her mind ever since Abby had come out of Carter's room.  
  
"Oh I completely forgot!" Abby exclaimed, "I wanted something to eat." She laughed slightly, "I'm pretty hungry really."  
  
"You want me to get you something?" Susan asked, standing up. Abby shook her head.  
  
"No, thanks, but I'll get it myself I really need to get some air, but you guys should go home if you're off now, or at least go downstairs," Abby told them.  
  
"But." Susan started.  
  
"No go now, I'll call you if something happens to John, or if you wakes up, or whatever, but I think you all need a rest." Susan was about to protest, when Kerry's pager went off.  
  
"We'll have to leave anyway, it's the ER '911', looks like there's traumas coming in." With that the ER staff hurried downstairs, and back to work. Susan hung back for a couple of seconds.  
  
"Let me know if he changes OK?" Susan asked, she felt to blame for what had happened to John, and just needed to know if he would be all right.  
  
"Of course, now go," Abby ordered her friend. Susan smiled, and after giving Abby a hug left. Sighing Abby also left, and went to Doc's where she got some food, and coffee.  
  
An hour later  
  
Abby sat next to John, with a firm grip on his hand. She was thinking about the last couple of days. She thought about how two days ago she was worrying about last minute wedding arrangements and now John was lying unconscious in a hospital bed, after having surgery. She felt a few tears come to eyes, as she thought about John. He didn't deserve to be in this situation, especially on the day after their wedding, John should be with her, at home or in a more perfect scenario they should be on a romantic honeymoon, somewhere.  
  
There was a knock at the, and Jing-Mei and Susan walked in.  
  
"Hey, sweetie, we're going home now, we just thought we would come see how you're both doing first." Jing-Mei said softly. Abby smiled.  
  
"I'm OK, and John well he's still not awake, but his stats are looking better, so maybe he'll wake soon." Abby told the two doctors.  
  
"He will, he's strong he'll survive." Susan told Abby.  
  
"He has to," Abby said quietly.  
  
"If you want him to wake up he will, he would do anything for you," Susan said softly. Abby knew Susan was right, he would do anything for her, he was that kind of person, always thinking of others before himself, that's why he was in this state, because he thought about Susan's safety before his own. 'Damn you Carter why couldn't you be more selfish?' Abby thought to herself.  
  
Jing-Mei bent down and placed a kiss on John's forehead. She then bent next to his ear and whispered in it, "Please wake up, the ER needs its Chief Resident, Abby needs her husband, and I need my best friend." She wiped a tear that was running down her cheek away, then kissed his forehead again.  
  
Susan also kissed his forehead, although she didn't say anything to John, she was talking to God, in her head, to let John wake up. Although she wasn't a religious person really, when things got rough for anyone she loved, she would pray to God to make them right, as these were the times when she needed to believe someone would help, as there was nothing any person could do now.  
  
The two women left the room after giving Abby a final hug. Abby sat down again, next to John. She leant over and kissed his cheek, forehead then lips softly. "John, baby, its time to wake up now, please." She looked up to his face, focusing on his eyes. They started to flutter, and as if he had heard Abby, he opened his eyes slowly.  
  
Let me know what you think please :)  
  
Debzxxx 


	6. Chapter 6

AUTHOR: higherbeingfriendsfan - Debz  
  
EMAIL: debz11888@hotmail.com  
  
CATEGORY: JC/AL  
  
RATING: PG-13 just in case  
  
SPOILERS: This chapter doesn't have any I don't think  
  
DISCLAIMER: Carter and Abby don't belong to me. They belong to NBC, and Warner Brothers, and all of the other people who own the rights to ER.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is set in at the time of series 10, but none of series 9 happened! Also Benton and Greene are in, because I really like them! Also this is my first fan fiction so take that into account when you read this! Also I have no knowledge of medical procedures etc. so anything to do with that will more than likely be wrong.  
  
Ok all you need to know when reading this is that Abby and Carter have been together for a year, but kept it a secret from everyone. Please review and let me know what you think :)  
  
Thank you to everyone who reviewed this fic so far they were all so sweet :)  
  
"John," Abby whispered, and then she started the grin. "You're awake!" she cried happily, "let me go get Elizabeth, OK?"  
  
She gave him a kiss on the cheek, then left the room to find Dr. Corday, who conveniently, was passing by John's door, after seeing to another patient.  
  
"Dr. Corday," Abby called, the British surgeon turned around.  
  
"Is everything alright Abby? Is John OK?" she asked quickly, starting to panic.  
  
"He's just woken up," Abby said happily, the grin still on her face, and soon a similar grin was on Elizabeth's face.  
  
The two women went into John's room. Elizabeth checked John's stats, the said to him, " John, I'm going to take the tube out your throat now, you know the drill, so when I count to three blow hard."  
  
John nodded, and then did as Elizabeth had said, as soon as the tube was out John started to cough. Abby helped him up whilst he did, then laid him down.  
  
"Abby", John said.  
  
"John try not to speak, OK, you need to wait a while," Abby said softly. He smiled and nodded, then closed his eyes, and fell asleep. She took his left hand in hers and kissed his wedding ring.  
  
"Hey, Dr. Corday, will you go downstairs and see if Susan and Chen are still here, and if they are will you please tell them he woke up?" Abby asked.  
  
"Of course, I have a surgical consult downstairs anyways," she replied.  
  
"If they're not, please don't tell anyone else, I want them to know first," Abby said, not taking her eyes off Carter.  
  
"Of course," Elizabeth said. She left the room without another word. Abby kept her eyes on her husband's face. Sighing Abby leant back in the chair she was sitting on and closed her eyes. As soon as she had got as comfortable as she could in the hospital chair Abby was asleep.  
  
A few hours later  
  
Abby woke up as she felt someone nudging her knee. After rubbing her eyes and stretching she looked over and saw John wide-awake.  
  
"Hey", she said, smiling softly.  
  
"Hi, sorry to wake you," he replied apologetically. Abby laughed slightly.  
  
"That's OK, I wasn't very comfortable anyway, how are you? Are you in any pain?" Abby asked John.  
  
"I'm OK, my back hurts though," he said quietly as if embarrassed at this.  
  
"Do you want anything for it?" she asked, knowing his answer already. At her question Carter shook his head forcefully.  
  
"I can't" he answered her. Smiling sadly Abby stroked his cheek.  
  
"That's OK, baby, you don't have to have any," Abby tried to calm John down. Smiling gratefully he took her hand in his.  
  
"How's Susan? She wasn't hit was she?" Carter asked suddenly as the memory of what happened registered. Abby was in awe of how he was still concerned about somebody else after everything that had happened.  
  
"Don't worry Susan's alright, she wasn't hit, because of you," she told him. Seeing him visibly relax she stroked his cheek again, "sweetie, now that you know that only you were hurt, please focus on yourself, and let yourself get better." He nodded. Looking around the room he remembered the last time he had been in hospital. He knew now that his recovery was affected, then, because of Lucy's death. He also knew that it was the pain of having to live his life knowing that Lucy had gone, was what had led him to painkillers. Sighing inwardly he hoped that this recovery would be different this time, as he would be able to focus on himself. He also knew that at this time in his life he was more stable, he had a lot more close friends that would help, especially Susan and Deb, and of course, this time he had Abby.  
  
"Hey what you thinking about?" Abby asked, seeing the far-away look in his eyes.  
  
Shrugging John looked at her, "Nothing," he replied. He knew he couldn't burden her with his thoughts about Lucy. All through their relationship, this had been the one topic that he was most private about, and would never talk about her.  
  
"Don't worry John, we'll all help you, your not alone this time." She told his softly, as if she had been reading his thoughts. He smiled and nodded knowing she was right. This time he felt confidant that he could recover fully, without feeling guilty that somebody was dead because of his actions.  
  
Just then the door opened and Susan and Jing-Mei walked in, but stopped dead in their tracks when they saw John awake. Their faces broke out in grins, similar to Abby's face earlier, when Carter had woken up. "Your awake," they chorused. Rushing to the head of his bed they gave him a firm hug. John winced in pain, quickly the pair pulled back, looking sheepish.  
  
"Sorry," they said.  
  
"That's OK, guess you just forgot that I was knocked over," he said, jokingly. Susan and Jing-Mei laughed and instead of giving him a hug gave him a kiss on his cheek. They sat down at the edge of his bed, one at either side.  
  
"How are you?" Jing-Mei asked looking at her best friend. To be honest with herself, she was worried he wouldn't survive, and that thought had scared her, because although she was friends with Susan and Abby, John had been the one constant in her life. He had helped her through everything, and she depended on him. Thinking back on the times he had helped her she realised that maybe she had taken him for granted, but she knew this would change everything.  
  
"I'm in a bit more pain than I was two minutes OK," he teased, "but I'm alright." He replied, after getting a look from each of the women in the room, he added, "honestly I'm OK." He smiled, trying to reassure them, and he knew he had as they each gave him a smile in return. Just then a nurse came into the room to change his IV, and to check his stats. She left the room quickly, feeling slightly uncomfortable.  
  
"Does anyone else in the ER know he's awake?" Jing-Mei asked Abby, who shook her head.  
  
"Only Elizabeth. I asked her to tell you both if she saw you, but otherwise to not say anything. I wanted you to see John first, but I knew if anyone else knew, that they would come up to see him." Abby told her friends. The two women nodded.  
  
"Do you want us to tell them?" Susan asked, silently hoping that Abby would say no. She still felt to blame about John being in this position, and she still hadn't let the fact that he was OK, and awake, sink in, and she knew that if she left the room, the feelings that something bad would happen would resurface.  
  
"Actually Deb, Ab, will you give Susan and I a minute, I want to talk to her?" This surprised Susan, who thought that maybe he blamed her, and wouldn't want anything to do with her anymore. Abby knew why he wanted to speak to her, and Jing-Mei had a fair idea. They both knew that the guilt was eating away at Susan, and that the only way for them to subside a bit would be for John to try and convince her that. Abby stood up to show everyone she accepted John's idea. Leaning over she gave him a quick, soft kiss, and left behind Jing-Mei.  
  
After the door had closed behind them, John turned to Susan. She smiled shyly and looked to the floor. Now that they were alone Susan felt that she couldn't look him in the eyes. She thought that Carter was just being nice when there were others in the room, but now they were alone she felt that he would yell at her, and tell her that he never wanted to speak to her again. This scared her, because although they weren't romantically involved, she felt that if he wasn't in her life, then it would be awful, because on some levels she felt a sort of sisterly bond to him.  
  
"Susan I want to speak to you for a minute, OK?" He asked her. She nodded numbly, and thought to herself, 'this is it, this is where he's going to tell me he never wants to speak to me again.' Dreading what was coming she looked up, hoping to keep the tears, that were threatening to fall, back.  
  
OK what do you guys think? Please review :)  
  
Debzxxx 


	7. Chapter 7

AUTHOR: higherbeingfriendsfan - Debz  
  
EMAIL: debz11888@hotmail.com  
  
CATEGORY: JC/AL  
  
RATING: PG-13 just in case  
  
SPOILERS: This chapter doesn't have any I don't think  
  
DISCLAIMER: Carter and Abby don't belong to me. They belong to NBC, and Warner Brothers, and all of the other people who own the rights to ER.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is set in at the time of series 10, but none of series 9 happened! Also Benton and Greene are in, because I really like them! Also this is my first fan fiction so take that into account when you read this! Also I have no knowledge of medical procedures etc. so anything to do with that will more than likely be wrong.  
  
Susan looked at Carter expecting a cold, hard, angry stare but instead he wore a soft comforting smile that made some of her guilty feelings leave. 'Maybe he doesn't hate me', but after a second Susan realised that this was ridiculous, 'of course he hates me look at what I've gotten him into'. Susan kept having conflicting thoughts, but when Carter started to speak these thoughts vanished, as she knew that the more she convinced herself that he didn't hate her the more she would fall when he said that he wished she had been knocked over and not him.  
  
"Susan, stop", his voice broke her thought train. She gave him a confused look, so he continued, "stop feeling guilty, responsible or whatever."  
  
"How?" she asked him, wondering how he knew what was going around in her head.  
  
"I told you before that I've known you ages so not only can I tell when you're lying I know when you're feeling guilty. Like now", he smiled at her. "I don't want you to feel responsible for something that you didn't do and something which you had no control over."  
  
"But..." he interrupted her saying "Susan I don't have amnesia I remember what happened. Whoever was driving that car is responsible not you."  
  
This time she managed to say something, "but you pushed me away, if I'd been looking at the street I would have seen that car, you got run over because I was being careless, so now you fully remember what happened I bet you never want to see me again."  
  
Carter chuckled, "hey, of course I want to see you again. And I always remember what happened and if I hadn't I would have been you in here, and I wouldn't have been able to live with that, especially if you had had worse injuries."  
  
"You didn't have to though, and because you did I feel awful, I mean you didn't have to"  
  
"Yeah I did I mean I could very well let one of my best friends die." For the next half an hour Carter and Susan talked over what they were feeling about the accident and Carter managed to convince Susan to feel less guilty and responsible.  
  
Meanwhile  
  
Abby and Jing-Mei took the elevator to the ER and walked to the desk where most of the ER staff were seated around, as again no patients were coming in, and the traumas and surgical consults had been sorted or admitted. Everybody looked up as they two women approached thankful for something to take their minds off the intense game of poker they had subjected themselves to! Elizabeth gave a small smile as Mark asked them why they downstairs.  
  
"Well its John" Abby paused for affect and looked at her feet so nobody could see her smile, "he's awake". Everybody looked up as they had been preparing for the worse.  
  
"When?", "How long ago?", "Is he OK?" the questions came flooding in.  
  
"Well he woke up a few hours ago" Elizabeth told her colleagues. They looked at her shocked.  
  
"You've been here for a few hours and you didn't tell us, why?" Mark asked his wife.  
  
"I asked her not to" Abby told the staff, "I wanted Susan to be the first to know." She had also wanted Deb to be but by saying Susan it meant they didn't feel as angry because everybody knew what Susan was feeling.  
  
"Is he alright?" Kerry asked. Abby smiled and nodded, "he's OK, he's breathing on his own, everything's fine."  
  
(AN like I said I don't know medical procedures so if this is completely impossible because he had a collapsed lung or whatever I apologise :))  
  
Everybody suddenly became more animated because of this news, smiles on everybody's' faces grew and everybody felt more relaxed. Abby looked at her colleagues and she felt happy because she knew that everybody in this room would help John's recovery and his addiction would be a thing in the past.  
  
For the next thirty minutes the ER was full of excitement until Susan came into view, where they all stopped worried that something had happened until they saw the smile on her face and the guilt in her eyes had vanished.  
  
"He fell asleep again, he's worn out, but he said that once he's awake he'll let us know and some people who are dying to see him" she looked pointedly at Abby "he'll send a message down, but he wants to be left alone while he rests."  
  
Abby smiled with everyone else but something in the back of her mind made her worry and ask herself what John was hiding because there must be a reason for why he wanted no one in his room and especially that he didn't even want her. 'What's wrong with him?' she asked herself, not knowing the answer she vowed that when he did wake up she would find out.  
  
Sorry this is short I'm pretty tired it's to early!  
  
What do you guys think? Should I continue? Let me know and I promise I'll update quicker with the next chapter than I did with this one :)  
  
Debzxxx 


	8. Chapter 8

AUTHOR: higherbeingfriendsfan - Debz  
  
EMAIL: debz11888@hotmail.com  
  
CATEGORY: JC/AL  
  
RATING: PG-13 just in case  
  
SPOILERS: This chapter doesn't have any I don't think  
  
DISCLAIMER: Carter and Abby don't belong to me. They belong to NBC, and Warner Brothers, and all of the other people who own the rights to ER.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is set in at the time of series 10, but none of series 9 happened! Also Benton and Greene are in, because I really like them! Also this is my first fan fiction so take that into account when you read this! Also I have no knowledge of medical procedures etc. so anything to do with that will more than likely be wrong  
  
Later that day the phone in the ER rang, everybody rushed to get it as there were still no patients, Mark was the fastest though and answered in. "County General ER".  
  
"Mark, its Elizabeth, one of the nurses just checked on Carter and he's awake and said anybody can go see him now."  
  
"OK thanks I'll let everybody know" he said into the phone before he put it down, and to the ER he gave everybody the message he had just received.  
  
"Who's going to go first?" he asked. Abby stood silent she still needed to ask Carter what was wrong but knew that some of the other ER staff would want to see him, before the department got busy again with traumas and patients. Mark and Peter decided to go up first since Peter had a surgery booked for half an hour.  
  
The two men left and Susan looked at Abby. From looking at her she knew that Abby was worried about something and was confused as to what, because Carter was out of trouble and was probably moving out of ICU shortly. When the rest of the staff went back to doing what they had been before the phone call Susan took Abby's arm and moved her away from the desk and into the lounge, where Jing-Mei was flicking through a magazine and sipping some coffee. She looked up and smiled at her friends, but from the look on Susan's face something was up. "You OK?" she asked. Susan turned to look at Abby and answered "I was going to ask her the same thing."  
  
Jing-Mei looked puzzled and she too looked at Abby, who had the same look on her face that she had had when Susan had pulled her into the lounge.  
  
"What do you mean, I'm fine" Abby asked, but this time Susan wasn't going to let her use that answer to stop people from knowing what was really wrong.  
  
"Abby, spill, there's something the matter and I want to know what", Susan gave her friend a look which was full of concern, but also had a bit of annoyance.  
  
"Susan I'm OK, honestly" Abby also looked annoyed but this was not at her friend this was at herself for being so obvious.  
  
"Common Abby, I mean you're husband is out of a critical condition and you look like the world's about to end," off Abby's look Susan continued, "OK so not that bad but you don't look happy."  
  
By this time Deb had realised what Susan was talking about, and even though she wasn't as close to Abby as Susan was, she knew her well enough to know that something was wrong.  
  
Defeated Abby said, "I just think there's something the matter with John."  
  
"Of course there is he's just been run over" Susan said sarcastically.  
  
Abby rolled her eyes, "not like that, I mean something's troubling him."  
  
"Like what?" Jing-Mei asked.  
  
"That's it I don't know, but when I see him next I'm going to ask him. He needs to be able to recover properly without any burdens," Abby said and Susan and Jing-Mei knew that Abby was actually saying what was wrong, and that other than that she was OK. Abby went over to her locker and lent against it. As she was something occurred to Susan, when she saw 'Lockhart' on the locker, "hey, Abby, are you going to change your surname?"  
  
Abby looked taken-aback because she had expected Susan to try and get more out of her about what was the matter after a second she answered, "I never really thought about it, to be honest."  
  
Susan gave her a disbelieving look. "Yeah right, you've been in love with Carter for 3 years and you're expecting me to believe you never dreamt about marrying him." Susan teased causing Deb to give a slight chuckle, and Abby to look a bit embarrassed.  
  
"OK, you're right," Abby told her causing Susan to give her a huge grin and an 'I told you so' look, "but I've never spoken to John about it."  
  
"So, are you?" Jing-Mei pushed with a smile.  
  
Abby rolled her eyes, "yeah probably, I mean Lockhart's my ex-husband's name, and Abby Carter sounds quite good." She laughed as her friends nodded and Susan repeated 'Abby Carter' a few times to see if it suited Abby.  
  
"I still can't believe you're married though," Jing-Mei said.  
  
"Let me see your rings" Susan said as she realised that throughout everything she still hadn't had a chance to look at them, Abby obliged without any complain.  
  
Susan looked at the wedding ring first, which was a simple silver band, then she looked closely at the engagement ring had a diamond in the middle and two sapphires on either side on the silver band.  
  
"They're beautiful," Susan said softly still looking at them, then looking up she asked, "How long were you engaged?" she asked Abby.  
  
"3 months" Abby said afraid what they would say.  
  
"3 months! Have you been wearing this ring all that time?" Susan said a little surprised, even though she knew they had been together for over a year , hearing how long they had been planning their wedding came as bit of a shock. Abby nodded. "I can't believe you managed to hide it from everyone for that long, especially with some of the gossipers in this hospital!."  
  
"I know, we always thought that once I started wearing the engagement ring people would notice and we could tell everyone then instead of having to sort of announce it, of course that plan went down the drain!" The three laughed just as Kerry popped her head through the door.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt but Carter asked Peter if anyone had phoned his grandmother, since he didn't know he wondered if you had."  
  
Abby looked shocked, "It never crossed my mind, but I'll do it now, then she can contact his dad." She walked over the phone and started pressing in the digits, Susan asked, "Do you want us to go?"  
  
"If you want to," she answered then into the phone, as someone picked up, "hello this is Abby, I need to speak to Millicent." She listened as the butler went to go and give her the phone.  
  
"Hello, Abby", Gamma asked into the phne.  
  
"Um...hi its about John, he was involved in a car accident this morning, and I thought you would like to know," scolding herself for how lame that sounded.  
  
"Oh my goodness is he alright?" the old women asked the nurse.  
  
"Well he's got a few broken bones, but he's OK, he woke up a few hours ago" she replied, feeling guilty that she hadn't thought about contacted the woman sooner.  
  
"I'll come as soon as I can, although I don't think I'll be able to stay for too long, despite my best efforts my health isn't what it used to be."  
  
Abby chuckled before saying, "It's getting late, Millicent..."  
  
"Gamma" the old woman corrected her almost immediately, Abby apologised then continued  
  
"It's getting late so I wouldn't worry about coming until tomorrow morning, but I was wondering if you would be able to contact his father and let him know what happened."  
  
"That, my dear, is easier said than done, as you know, but I'll do my best."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"No problem, dear, I'll go now and phone him. I'll come into the hospital at about 12 o' clock tomorrow, after a meeting I'm having, will that you be alright?" Millicent asked Abby.  
  
"Definitely I'll see you there." After saying goodbyes Abby hung up the phone. She realised that Susan, Jing-Mei and Kerry had left the lounge, so she also left the lounge after making and pouring herself a cup of coffee.  
  
"Is she going to come?" Kerry asked Abby as she came out of the lounge.  
  
"She will tomorrow, it's too late for her to make up way here today." The chief of staff nodded and then told Abby, "why don't you go home Abby, you look worn out."  
  
Abby nodded realising just how tired she actually was, "yeah I think I will, I'll go tell John, then I'll go." She went into the lounge grabbed her stuff and made her way upstairs and into John's room. Surprisingly he was alone, but when she saw his eyes closed she realised that he must be asleep. Walking to his head she kissed his forehead and was about to leave when she heard his voice call her name. Surprised she jumped a little and turned around and saw his eyes looking at her. She smiled and walked over to her husband.  
  
"Hi sweetie, I was just going to tell you I'm going home," she told him.  
  
He nodded and asked her, "Did you phone my grandmother?"  
  
Abby nodded and said, "she's going to come tomorrow around lunch, I'm sorry I didn't phone her earlier but I never really thought I was too worried."  
  
"You don't need to apologise, Abby, its OK." He smiled at her and then she remembered what she was talking to Susan and Jing-Mei about.  
  
"John what's bothering you?" 'Nice Abby, just get straight to the point, don't even give him a chance to tell you himself', she mentally kicked herself.  
  
"Nothing", he muttered weakly, breaking her thoughts, but he knew that she knew there was something.  
  
"John," she said sternly, but seeing the look on his face she softened her voice and said, "please tell me."  
  
"OK" he replied and started to tell her what was wrong with him.  
  
So...is this chapter any good? Please review and let me know. Debzxxx 


	9. Chapter 9

**AUTHOR: higherbeingfriendsfan -  
CATEGORY: JC/AL  
RATING: PG-13 just in case  
SPOILERS: Maybe series 1-8, nothing after  
DISCLAIMER: Carter and Abby don't belong to me, nor do any of the other characters. They belong to NBC, and Warner Brothers, and all of the other people who own the rights to ER.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is set in at the time of series 10, but none of series 9 happened! Also Benton and Greene are in, because I really like them! Also this is my first fan fiction so take that into account when you read this! Also I have no knowledge of medical procedures etc. so anything to do with that will more than likely be wrong**

**Sorry this has taken me a while to update, but hopefully I'll be able to finish this fic soon fingers crossed**

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Carter looked at Abby, and he felt reassured that she wouldn't think he was stupid for believing this. "Well you see, its just I'm worried, I'm worried that I won't be able to handle the recovery and that I'll turn to drugs again. I mean I know I'm a lot stronger than I was last time...I just...I don't know I'm worried that I'm not as strong as I think I am, and I can't handle it." Tears sprung to his eyes. Although he had thought before that he would be all right, seeing all of his colleagues and friends come into his room maden him feel weaker than they were, and that thought scared him, as he had thought that before, during the time after his stabbing. 

Abby looked at Carter shocked, she couldn't believe that he had lost so much confidence since earlier in the day. "John, honey, you will handle it, I promise, because even if you aren't as strong as you were you have more people to turn to, and people who will let you lean on them, if something becomes too much."

"I know, I'm still so scared." Abby looked straight into his eyes and saw fear in them. She gave his hand a squeeze.

"John, don't worry OK, you'll get through this, I'll be here whenever you need me, and if you feel that you're having trouble coping, you can talk to me, or we can go to a meeting. I'll help you through this, you just have to trust that you'll be able to do this, that together we'll be able to do this, OK?"

Carter nodded and gave Abby a quick reassuring smile.

After getting his fears off his chest Carter felt a lot stronger and calmer and a lot of his fear had disappeared. He knew he had been silly for not having faith in both himself, and Abby, but he also knew that if they were to have a good marriage then no matter how stupid his doubts were he had to tell Abby. With this off his chest he closed his eyes, knowing that he would be able to get to sleep without worrying about would he might do during his recovery.

* * *

During the next few weeks Carter had visitor after visitor. All of his colleagues visited him whenever they had a break, or had something they needed to do on the floor he was staying in. Although Kerry had given Abby two weeks off, she had needed to go back to work, but every free moment she had was spent there. Carter's grandmother spent most of her free time at the hospital too, although Carter reminded her that she needed her rest and forced her to spend some time at home. 

When the day came for Carter to go home, Abby and Susan had taken the day off so that they could get John settled.

"You know it doesn't take both of you to drive me, there's better things you could be doing with your day off Susan," Carter said as he got settled into the wheelchair. Although he was fine to go home his leg was still in a cast, and his side hurt where the ribs had broken. A part from those, he looked quite well, as the bruises and cuts had faded over the time spent in the hospital.

"Don't argue Carter, just be glad that there's only us two," Susan joked.

They rolled him to the elevators and then through to the ER where everyone was waiting. Jing-Mei rushed to give him a hug, even though she had seen him a couple of hours previously, she was just glad that he was well enough to go home. A couple of others gave him "get well soon" wishes. They told him that he had to come back to the ER soon and that the ER needed him back, and it hadn't been the same without him. During it all Carter was smiling, happy that his friends cared about him, and he knew that he would be fine with his recovery as long as they were all there for him.

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**A/N - OK this chapter may seem a bit rushed, and not very long, I know its both, but I wasn't sure how long to keep him in hospital, since you know that its taken me 6 months to get him to say what was on his mind! LOL I want to try and finish this so some chapters might seem rushed and for that I sincerely apologise its just I don't like having a story up in the air, and as you know I'm not great at updating.**

**Anyways I'm having a bit of writers block so if anyone has any ideas about how to finish this story email me or put it in a review so hopefully I'll know how to put a good ending to this. I'm not sure how many more chapters it will take but I promise I will finish this, no matter how long it takes :). And hopefully people are still reading it when I do!**

**Please review, as always criticism welcome**

**Debzxxx**


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